"Never get too attached to anyone unless they also feel the same towards you, because one sided expectations can mentally destroy you."


blog / infinite / twitter
← old new →
luck is not on my side.
Tuesday, 27 October 2015


Hola,

so I'm here just to rant about my life.

Infinite are having their world tour right now. They may or may not be coming to Malaysia. It’s all about luck for us.  But they’ll be coming to our neighbor like Thailand, Philippine, Singapore and Indonesia.

I’m so upset I couldn’t come to their world tour concert. I’ve been wanting to meet them since 4 years ago. Actually, 2 years ago, they managed to come to my country to do their world tour. But I was involved in an accident and had my leg casted.

I guess I really have no luck huh?

Unlike me, my sister is also an inspirit. She get to attend their concert… and this time because Infinite couldn’t come to Malaysia. She bought ticket to fly to Singapore and Indonesia and attend their concert at there. I couldn’t come because I have an examination at the moment. Also, I am not rich like her.

I will cry every freaking time I remember my luck. Why do things always didn’t go as I want it to be? People will judge me if they read this right? Because who in the world will waste their tears to K-pop idols? It will be only me then. K-pop idols are not robots made by the company. They are human with dream. They had to go through so many shit just to get up there, especially Infinite.

In order to get popular easily, you have to come from the big company. But Infinite came from a small company. The CEO of the company even had to put his house on sell just to promote them. And in the end, they managed to get popular with their talents and also, a little bit help of haters spreading shit about them. Of course, not to forget their fans.  They had to go through so many hate just because they come from a small company.

Even after they’ve been through all that, they’re still here stood strong even though they’ve breakdown few times in front of us. I guess that’s maybe the reason why I admired them.

I used to be so confident to walk with my head held high whenever I’m in public, school or just somewhere. But then, something happened. So I had to change my school. When I was in my new school, I tried to be friendly with everyone. The problem is everyone seems so distant but, they still responded to me whenever I asked a question. But till one day come, I got avoided by everyone. Since then, I’ve been attacked, bullied and all.

I was depressed… I still am. I tried to make myself happy by watching funny videos. After I watched countless of not-so-funny videos, I bumped into “Ranking King Infinite”. I watched the videos from ep 1 till the finale episode. They attracted me, from so many ways.

Since then, I’ve been following them. Their music soothes my broken soul. Also, they taught me how to be confident in myself. Don’t let other words hurts me in any way. So I was able to rise and smile to them. Who is them? People who constantly hurt me emotionally and physically. Yeah, them.

I want to meet Infinite and continue supporting them. I want to show to them that because of them I was able to smile happily without having the sadness behind my eyes. I want to show them I will continue to support them if there’s no one else wants to support them; be fan. I’ll be there.

…but I guess I have no chance. Sorry for my bad English. They are not my mother tongue language so forgive me. Goodbye, assalamualaikum.


layout by ellie. image from weheartit.