i wasnt supposed to feel like this, cause its nearly 4am, and i also had my playlist on. it was mostly contains kelly clarkson's. damn her song is so emotional.

i've been through alot of challenges, such as... um remember the fight that i had with my friends? i've apologized some of them, but that because they said sorry to me. my sisters called me stupid though, she said i shouldn't accept their apology.

that's not the only challenge, there's a alot more. i've been starving myself so that i can lose some weight on my body. and if there's any product that can help us to become skinny or what, i'll want to try that product.

even though i know it's not healthy, i still keep doing it.

i hope my friends won't find out about this? the real reason why i decided to just-starve-yourself-you-dont-have-to-eat-cause-youre-fat-af is because of them. whenever we're studying at school, mostly during science period. if there's any topic about food nutrition, fat will become their interest topic. and they start talking about my body. i really have no self-esteem. confident? what's that? never heard of it.

thats not the only thing though. but i'm not going to write it here of course.

everything has changed. the old me is gone. the new me is lost and empty. i don't care about what others think. gth with their "i think...." "you're fat" and all that shit.

i let out all of my fears of what ifs. but... it will come back.

i'm tired...