"Never get too attached to anyone unless they also feel the same towards you, because one sided expectations can mentally destroy you."


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Thursday, 17 November 2016

There was a time where I feel so down and I need to find something to motivate me. I somehow came across a video called “how to take note smartly”, and I like that kind of videos to be very honest. Somewhere in the middle of the videos, that girl said something going to university is an exciting experience. But first of all, you got to prepare your physical and mental. Because in universities, anything can happen.

I think that is a brilliant advice.

If one cannot control her emotions very well, she might ended up screw herself up. I applied the advice to myself.

When I’m in school few months ago, I had a few moments where I feel like I’m being held down by emotions. It makes me wants to avoid everyone. I even ignored my friends, and went ahead by myself. I have lots of bad thoughts during that moment.

It was painful, and tiring.

You want to talk to others but you feel like you’ll be judge if you open your mouth and say something. You want to talk about feelings that has been troubling you. But you just couldn’t find the right words. You ended up said “nothing, I forgot what I was about to say anyway.” It was frustrating and sad. I couldn’t do anything with the feeling that has been controlling me. It’s just… there.

Somehow I manage to break down the wall by myself, and I started to do things that I couldn’t do when that “thing” possessed me. Is possessed even the right word for it? I once tried to explain about that to my friends. But I ended up tell them, “If something happens to me, forgive me. If you think I’m being a bitch for no reason and out of nowhere. I’m sorry. Just ignore me, okay” Yup, I told them exactly like this. They were puzzled at first, but after that they just agreed and called me weirdo. Lol


Now, I’m in the last month of being in school. After this, I’ll be 18 and I’m not going to school anymore. Means I finished my high school. I can’t wait to go to work; to know more people. Just by the thought of it, makes me jumping in joy. Totally can’t wait! 

layout by ellie. image from weheartit.