i do miss you.

i do miss the memories that we shared together. i do miss the laugh we shared, the tears we shed and the fights that we got into. i do miss all that. 

but- i don't miss the mistreatment that you gave me. i don’t miss the gaslighting. i don’t miss the nights that i fell asleep with stain of tears on my cheeks. i don’t miss the uneasy feelings on my chest about what you might do to me. i don’t miss the “love you”s from you, no more. i don’t miss them. 

 sure, we’ve been together for two years. i’ve never loved someone more than 6months so you’re the first honestly. but i think two years is enough for me. i just realised that i’m not fit for this. not now and not with you. 

 i need to love myself first, because i think i have too little love for myself. how can i love someone if i can’t even love myself? i can live my life even though there’s no you in it. 

yeah i’m a little broken at the moment, because i just got out of relationship but believe me that its not entirely because of “this”. a lot has happened in a short period of time so i need some time to digest things in. so don’t worry about me honey. i can be happy. i will be happy again. 

 i also hope that you will be happy. i’m also wishing you the best in finding someone else to spend your life with.